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Of ATM woes


Much of my time during the past few days were spent paying innumerable visits to the neighborhood bank/ATM centre, close to my home. Not to mention the scorns I earned from the unfriendly faces at the bank. And the agony I went through in the past couple of days unfolds here… Well… it all began on a Tuesday evening. Post the regular walk at the neighborhood park, I decided to withdraw cash from the ATM located just outside the park. As usual the jinxed ATM machine did not wear a very friendly look! I looked for the ‘Out of order’ poster usually hung next to the machine all the time. The poster was missing. I told my Mom, “Oh! Looks like the machine is ok today”. Without wasting much time, it was time for me to insert the card. “There’s no error message being displayed on the screen, then why is the card not being accepted? I thought to myself. But did not want to be aloud about my thoughts. What will my mother think about me? Uh! Afterall I have been using the ATM card for the past errr….. uh….11 years? Ya.. ever since I had a job! Ok! But what’s the deal with this card? The damn thing ain’t going in and I can’t be made to look like a stupid in front of my mother! I pushed the card in with force! After a couple of attempts, the card did go in, but never to get back! I had ignored my mother’s warning, “Why are you pushing it in like that? Will it not get stuck?” “Oh no! It won’t” I had reassured her!
Well.. my mother, who had never ever used an ATM card all by herself throughout her life was indeed correct! The ATM card actually got stuck inside. I tried all that I could do with the keys present on the machine. Everything came to a standstill. I felt miserable standing there, watching my mother grow nervous. “Relax ma. I will do something” that’s the only reassurance I could think of at that point in time, not that she would be trusting me on anything that I would say or do now!
While my mother suggested me all sorts of ‘measures’ that we should take, calling up the call centre and blocking the card is what crossed my mind first. While my poor mom decided to go visit some guys working in the bank, she strictly instructed me, “You stay here. While I go, meet someone and see what can be done.” I had no other option left but to keep trying the darn call centre numbers and yes my phone battery too decides to ditch me. The call centre numbers of these nationalized banks were like our government, our politicians who never work. I couldn’t think of any better comparison at that point because my mind had stopped working! I started shooing away all those people who came to the ATM. “The ATM isn’t working” I stood there and announced as though I was getting paid by the %#$*#% bank to do so! And people left wondering what I was doing standing there all alone at 8 pm if the ATM wasn’t working! Well… It’s a small place and people stare at you. “Sure… this was the only thing that should have happened to me” I cursed myself. When I did not see my mother return after an half-n-hour’s wait, I decide to walk home.
After innumerable searches, well I did get a number that worked! Yipppieee… this number works I screamed in jubilation. After explaining to the guy the whole story, he budges to lock my account. “My money is now safe.” I proclaimed….As if I had a couple of lakhs in my account! I show up in the bank first thing in the morning. I get routed to a very unfriendly, bald, middle-aged man, who had three naamas (lines) on his forehead. This, after I went to three other people initially! This guy even refuses to look at me and talks in air, “We have got nothing to do with the ATM. It has been outsourced and the number has been hung at the ATM centre. You have to go to their office and collect it. We are not authorized to collect it” he announces, refusing to take any more queries. I felt like cursing that man. “Dare he talk to me like that” I fumed. But relax; getting the card was my priority. I let go that man!
The only solace came after I spoke to that ‘outsourced guy’- the only guy who spoke nicely to me… He was my only saviour in the whole episode. “Madam,” he explained. “Since you stay very far off from our office, what I can do for you is inform you when the boys come to repair and load the ATM machine. They come in a yellow coloured van”. “Bless this guy..” I made a wish! “But when?” “Aah in two day’s time?” “Oh ok”.. Did I have a choice? I hung up.
Desperate wait for the yellow coloured van began. I called up my savior again. “Sorry madam.. the van has not gone today. Please call me again tomorrow morning?” “sure” Second day morning, after desperate phone call attempts, the guy calls me back, “Madam.. The van is there. Please go there and collect it from the boys. But they remain there for just 3 minutes” “Sure Sure” I yelled in jubilation and took my two wheeler out, and rode it in such a way as though I was a superwoman who had to rescue a little boy, trapped in a fire! I spotted the yellow coloured van… yaaayy…. And yes, the moment actually came, “I got my card back.. yipieee ….” I was feeling so relieved.  Proud of myself when I entered the bank, looked for the bald guy just to let him know that I got my card back without his darn help! I had to get my card unlocked for which the bank had to send out an email! After a long wait, I was routed to the ‘bank manager’- the irritating man whom I have always caught eyeing from inside his cabin. “Oh god.. why this man now” . But all that’s not going to matter now. Aah.. I have my card back”. “Please write a letter” the man told me in his broken English.. “Losers! ughh.. “I will sent out a mail. Oook??” “Thanks” I fumble and leave.
I couldn’t take any less pride of my achievement today. I thought to myself! The sense of pride and achievement was even bigger than….aahhhh… uhhhhhhh… earning a PhD degree from the Oxford? Well.. Whateva… Penniless, with the card in my card, my next folly was just waiting to happen! Yes… I try my luck with the card again… It was due to sheer curiosity! “What curiosity?” my mother screamed twice her usual voice! I had to blurt out to her about the second folly. She has always had a very uncanny way of getting things out of me! Ugghh…. I call up my saviour again, “He recognizes my voice and quips back, “Now what did you do madam? God! I felt like slapping myself. “How did you try the card, when it is blocked madam? He was just adding to my miseries. Erghh…. I’m really sorry to trouble you again and again….. blah blah… The guy was so sweet that he promised me he would call me again when the yellow van is at the ATM. He calls me the next day and I miss his call. By the time I call him back, he shouts, “Where were you madam? The van came near your place and left. I called you.” “Ya… ugh… blah…..”
“But it will go to a different place in an hour’s time. Can you reach there?” “Oh yes..” “Well anything for my card…” I reach the place and don’t see the yellow coloured van! But there was the boy who had handed over the card last time. In all smiles, I approach him as though I was going to propose to him… “Dipti Das..?” Yes….. My name had indeed become famous! But he gave me not a very friendly ‘Hope not to see you again type’ looks. I got the message. I thanked the guy, I thanked my stars, called up my savoiur and thanked, thanked him. “No problem madam. But please be careful with your card next time and please don’t use it till you get the authorization to do so” he warned me. “You think I will ever use an ATM card again? Ughhhhhh….”

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